Laurea–The Italian Degree

by Annie on August 3, 2010

This past weekend I got a secret peek inside the lives of Italian university students, know what I found? They are just like the American ones.

Maybe for the first time since I have been here (read: first time in the last 7 months!!), for one entire night I felt included in a celebration, in the conversation, in the party. It was an amazing feeling.

This guy was Jersey Shore defined.

All these months I have known that a lot of my isolation comes from my own stubborn will not learning Italian more quickly. Then a couple of weekends ago as I spent a day with Lorenzo and two of his band-mates I came to the realization that more than anything else, I just don’t think I have a lot in common with his friends. I found myself actually semi-understanding the conversation which revolved solely around music and the future of the band. Don’t get me wrong, I care about the band and their well-being, I care about music and I like learning but not every minute of everyday. His non-band friends tend to just talk in circles about nothing and tend to talk about girls, which really bothers me (hey, we all have to admit our insecurities at one time or another). I don’t like to think that they could be trying to sneak in conversation about other girls right in front of me just because they think I can’t understand. FYI mates, I get the idea, so stop.

First, I’ll enlighten you a bit. Laurea is the Italian word for degree, like the one you get for graduating university. Congrats to Michele huh? So, Michele (bless him) decides to throw this giant party at his fathers Bagno in Grossetto on the coast. Basically we had a sweet pool, private beach, catered apertivo and all the alcohol we wanted; all trusted to a bunch of party-thristy crazy twenty-somethings. Sounds familiar. It felt like home.

The entire night I was excitedly greeted by Lorenzo’s friends, I was complimented and conversed with in both Italian and English. What a concept that is. I felt so included and didn’t have a dull moment.

The view from the Bagno-clearly a good night.

As for the party, what celebratory fools those Italians are. There was booze flowing straight from the bottles, dancing on the bar and every person at the party made an unexpected journey into the pool, clothes and all. It was much more appealing than the previous birthday celebrations that involved crowded clubs with 25 Euro entry fees, Italian girls with their noses stuck in the air, and Italian boys in skinny jeans dancing on tables. Unfortunately, not my thing. I’m glad I found my niche.

I’m curious what brought on the difference for me. I wonder if the university grads are more confident in their English skills (have studied longer?) If they are more open-minded (for one reason or another) or if it just happened to be that group of people. Either way, it was refreshing because I was biting my tongue not to say anything to Lorenzo about my uneasiness of attending yet another party. Pleasantly surprised.

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  • http://www.withsparkles.com Verity

    I’m so glad you had such a good time! I do think different groups behave in really different ways and I tend to have an easier time with the boyfs uni friends than his other friends. It may well be because they are more confident in English and often come into contact with foreign students so are used to making them feel included.

    I hate boys in skinny leg jeans. It makes their feet look ridiculously huge, like clown feet at the end of these scrawny sticks. It really is not a good look.

  • http://www.theinnocentabroad.com Melissa

    I totally feel your pain. I studied Italian for my foreign language specialty in college but I didn’t do well at all. Language is so necessary but also such a barrier. Out of curiosity, what part of Italy are you in?

  • http://ggnitaly84.blogspot.com/ Georgette

    I feel ya! I like Tommaso’s Uni friends so much more as well! and as for sneaky talk about girls.. ugh thats so annoying! next time, insert some dialect and scare them… ;)

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    It’s always so great to hear when you all can relate.

    Verity and Georgette-that’s interesting about the Uni friends cause I felt like that was a sweeping generalization but Verity you make a good point about being exposed to international students! And Verity, the skinny jeans are even more attractive with the Italian chest hair (or lack of) peeking over their unbuttoned shirts. What did these mothers teach their boys???

    Melissa, I agree the language barrier is a huge issue but I also find it important to speak in the language of the country you are in (I’m having a hard time taking my own advice here). It opens your mind a lot to others lives and also what they struggle with learning English. The worst thing for me is when I catch a couple words and “interpret” the rest of the conversation, which usually is a complete misconception that leaves me upset.

    BTW I’m in Florence! We can chat in Italian if you prefer ;) haha.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    Sounds like an AWESOME time! Glad you had fun!

  • http://suzyguese.com/ Suzy

    Sounds like a great time. It is always a nice surprise when you find that group far away from home that makes home not feel so far away. The whole Italian guys in skinny jeans and girls with their noses in the air is a far too common grouping in Italy. I’m glad you found the other side of the chest hair and snobbery ha.

  • http://vagabond3.com Jade

    I know exactly what you mean- and it does feel so refreshing and amazing when you feel that ease and comfortablity with a new group of friends!

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    Thank you guys! It was such a breath of fresh air after 7 months of not quite feeling comfortable with Lore’s friends.

    Unfortunately, this is not his main group of friends. But now knowing them I am feeling better and I know that the next time I see them things will be great all over again! Something to look forward to.

    I find too that even as I am learning more and more Italian that it’s not what is causing the barrier in the friendships but in reality that there is little to add to their conversations. I guess I’ll have to start making my own since I’ll be spending some time with them at least for the next few months!

    Life is about adapting and learning I guess isn’t it? :)

  • http://www.globetrottingtexan.wordpress.com Carla

    Maybe it was the alcohol. I’ve lived in Italy for one year and a half, and I felt that in situations that involved alcohol people let lose more easily, spoke English to me and it became easier to speak Italian too :D

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    Carla, I think the alcohol definitely helped but even when Lorenzo goes out with his Uni friends they always ask where I am and when I happen to see them, which isn’t very often they also chat with me for a bit.

    I guess it’s just a big step up from some of his other friends who have given up even looking me in the eye let alone attempting conversation. Drives me crazy, after a year I’m capable of a conversation!

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