Lesson #12: Don’t Be Such a Mama’s Boy!

by Annie on July 14, 2011

Before I go into detail here, I want to share something with you all, dear readers. This is the Italian adaptation of the famous children’s song The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

Whisky il ragnetto che sale la montagna
la pioggia lo bagna
e Whisky cade giù, giù, giù!
Ma esce un bel sole
e Whisky si è asciugato
risale la montagna e va sempre più sù, sù, sù!
In cima alla montagna c’era una casetta
con dentro una streghetta
che se lo vuol mangiar, gnam, gnam!
Ma Whisky è molto furbo
riscende la montagna
ritorna dalla mamma
e non la lascia più, più, più.

Spider

Creative Commons credit: The Itsy Bitsy Spider

So I realize that most of you probably don’t know what that translates to. Let me enlighten you here.

Basically it begins just like our version, with the spider (Whisky) climbing a mountain until the rain deters him. When it does he goes back home until the sun comes out and dries everything up. He then attempts the mountain again and when he finally reaches the top he finds a little house with a witch inside; strange no?

That, however, is not even the best part. No, little Whisky goes running back down the mountain to return to the safety of his mommy and never go out again (again, again)!

What?

It all makes perfect sense! Maybe you have heard of this phenomenon in Italy? Where the men live at home until they are 35 years old and have an unhealthily, needy relationship with their mothers?

Mama's Boy Puppy

Mama’s Boy (credit: AirBeagle)

In Italy, it is common that children (although it somehow appears to be mostly men) live at home until they are completely graduated from University with a well-paying job, a high balance in the bank account and a wife. Believe it or not, even with the famous Italian Stallion status, it can still take years.

All jokes aside, the fact that Italians stay at home until they are a stable is both smart and admirable. Men save money so that they can buy houses without falling into debt and support their families.

The problem?

The Mama’s Boy image that comes with it; and is all too often the result is not sexy. It could be the Italian Mama’s fault, never wanting to let her little boy go… but maybe that’s a story for another post…

Is any other culture out there full of Mama’s Boys?

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  • http://theresnoplacelikeoz.com Heather

    Hehe, I love the photos you found and chose for this post :-) Next time I see a spider (and we’ve had *plenty* this summer), I’ll be thinking of this.

    The Lesson series has been a good one!

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    Haha thanks Heather! It’s a little bit hard to communicate exactly the ‘frustration’ and the humor that come with it to an audience that doesn’t have this stuff happen everyday but I know there are definitely people that can relate. I’m just glad that people find it funny!

  • http://www.budgettraveladventures.com/ Jeremy Branham

    Yep, heard the stories and see the men.  Guess it makes sense why so many Italian men are confident and even arrogant as they approach women.  They still have mommy stroking their egos and building them up! :)

  • http://twitter.com/NEFootsteps Lauren

    Hahahaha, I don’t know if I’d feel very happy dating a guy who still lived with his mum…

  • http://www.mycruisetravelpictures.com/ Sailor

    Nice story! I never wanted to be a mams boy!

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    I know! THANKFULLY my boyfriend moved out at age 21 and lived on his own… phew! haha

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    Yea it’s true. Although then they can’t take the girl home so all that arrogance is really just an act (it’s true!). 

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    Haha thanks Sailor! Sometime you can’t help living at home but I think that the Mama   Boy mentality is the problem. 

  • http://www.kylehepp.com Kyle

    Chile. CHIIIIIILE. Another big mama’s boy culture for sure. It really makes me laugh when I see men that are living at home at 33 years old and they’re still considered normal eligible bachelors. However, the culture is definitely changing and people are starting to move out younger. Oh, and it’s not just men, women live at home forever too. I think it mostly has to do with economics.

  • http://thejungleprincess.com Abby

    Oh, Annie… that is ridiculous!! I’m dating a mama’s boy for the first time in my life… I might come to you for advice ;-)

  • http://inspiringtravellers.com/ Andrea and John

    Hahaha – I don’t even want to touch this one. I suspect that with the current financial crisis around the world many more mama’s boys (and girls) will be created =)  ~Andrea.

  • http://www.gourmantic.com Corinne @ Gourmantic

    Not just Italians, a lot of cultures do the same but it’s also a product of the parenting trend in the anglo world. Mothers who don’t cut apron strings and continue to mother their sons in an unhealthy and sometimes obsessive ways. Not elaborating on that last part but I’ve seen it too often! :)

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    Haha I figured! Women live at home in Italy too but for some reason it doesn’t affect them so much! 

    As for the economics it is technically smart but I just wish they could be smart and grow up at the same time!

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    Haha, feel free! Although my boyfriend is quite mature (he thankfully moved out at 21 and before he met me) I still get it!!

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    So true! Haha, it’s still fun to laugh about though ;)

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    I completely agree. It’s both sweet and slightly distrubing the kind of relationships that parents have with their kids in Europe. I think that loving your child and babying them just needs a bit more separation. 

  • http://nomadicsamuel.com Nomadic Samuel

    Hi Annie, this was an engaging post.  I’ve spent three years in Korea and the culture is very similar to Italy in the sense that men (also women) don’t leave home until their late 20′s or mid 30′s.

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    I am learning a lot about other cultures from writing these posts and find out that all of us expats in Italy are not alone! That’s one of the things that I love most about writing the series is that I get a lot of comments from people who can relate outside of Italy. Thanks for stopping by Samuel!

  • http://downtowntraveler.com Leslie (Downtown Traveler)

    Love that the Italian version of the classic nursery rhyme reflects their cultural values. I’ve heard that Italian men love to live at home with their parents. Actually, it’s not so different in the US when there is a recession. I’ve moved back home several times since graduating college!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=591147692 Chris Walker-Bush

    Korean men are almost universally mama’s boys. Even the more masculine ones tend to be shamelessly devoted to their mothers – even to the point of ignoring their own wife’s requests in favor of their mother’s. It’s a tad tragic.

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    I know, I laughed so hard the first time I heard it! I found it funny the clear cultural differences that directly relate to the differences in the nursery rhyme! 

    I agree that in these economic times it is not so uncommon (or frowned upon) to live at home! I would if I could!

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    Wow! I think that with the Italians it’s more about the way the mom treats the boy, but I wouldn’t necessarily put it past them to ignore their wives in favor of their moms! 

  • http://www.colorfulplaces.com Bluegreen Kirk

    Its a tough one because depending on where you are from its almost not only accepted but actually expected.  And now more than ever people are graduated and not finding jobs so men/women will be staying home (or coming back home) for a longer period.  

  • http://waywardtraveller.com/ Annie

    Very true! The economy is playing a huge role in it now in all parts of the world as well. 

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