Lesson #4: They Don’t Wear the Pants

Growing up in the “American Dream” I always thought that men were the ones who were in charge of the relationship. It was Dad that made the decisions, that drove the car, that asked for help (ha right). Then I grew up. I started to see that maybe in some kind of sneaky way it was the women that ran the show. The power seemed to waiver though, it depended on the stage of the relationship, the couple and each situation.

Contemplating where he wants to go next? Don't think so.

Not my luck here ladies. I am a pretty indecisive person, usually just because I don’t care that much; sometimes because I don’t want to step on toes, but usually because it doesn’t matter to me. That was a luxury.

It became blatantly obvious to me in the last couple of weeks that I no longer had this option. If I didn’t make the decision, well there was no decision made.

It started when we were at the beach with two of Lorenzo’s friends. They had never been to Vada and didn’t know the way around, I had been there a few times and had an idea, Lorenzo had lived there for about six years; clearly he knew. Being that I am still not on general communication terms with Lorenzo’s friends I let him lead the way. Then I started noticing that he was letting them lead the way, funny since they didn’t know the way. I let it go as we came to a dead end and Lorenzo righted them, I figured he just got distracted. Then it happened again. And again. What the hell.

Then we got to the beach and I noticed them looking around longingly as they continued walking, and walking and walking. They were mumbling vaguely identifiable phrases to each other about where to sit. I found an open spot and sat down. I was baffled.

All the sudden this was all too familiar.

“No, you plan what we are going to do tonight”, “Yea I’m excited to go to Portugal, have you planned anything?”, etc.

I understand that men are a little less interested in the planning and research side of things, they like to just go and see. That’s ok. Then we move onto more serious things. Like what the hell we are going to do in November when my visa expires. We have talked a lot about going to the U.S. so that Lorenzo can go to Music School. Guess what? He hasn’t looked at schools, or admission dates, or visa requirements.

Guess this decision is mine! Now, what do I want, that’s the question…